Inscribed in stone over the great front doors of an old church being restored was: “This is the Gate of Heaven.”
Just below it someone had placed a small cardboard sign which read: “Use Other Entrance.”
An American who saw the volcano Mount Vesuvius erupt, was told by a native of the town that the United States had nothing to compare with it.
The American simply said, "I should say not. However, Niagara Falls would put that thing out in less than two minutes."
"How long have you been married?" asked a friend.
"We have been happily married for seven years," answered the husband. "Seven out of sixteen isn't bad."
Which letter is silent in "scent"...
Is it the 'C' or the 'S'?