Past Winners

You can't spell gravity without gravy...

And you can't spill gravy without gravity!

"After a while, I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, and got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS."

"Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD."

"Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD."

I have no problem buying tampons.

I am a fairly modern man.

But apparently they’re not a ‘proper’ present.

I just want you to know that if I win the Powerball tonight, it won't change me.

It will change my phone number, my email address, my mailing address...