Past Winners

"I see you were last employed by a psychiatrist," said the employer to the applicant. "Why did you leave?"

"Well," she replied, "I just couldn't win...

If I was late to work, I was hostile.

If I was early, I had an anxiety complex.

If I was on time, I was compulsive."

93% of dog owners are convinced their dogs can smile.

The 7% who don't are afraid if they do smile, they may need braces.

My Friend Benny kept dropping his phone and cracking his screen. He went through a seemingly endless series of visits to cellphone screen replacement shops, and sometimes ending up having to buy a whole new phone.

I finally asked him the obvious. "Why don't you order a case?"

A few days later he got a large box delivered with 24 iPhones inside.

Did you hear about the dyslexic man who went out to buy maps?

He came back with a tin of Spam.