Past Winners

A man and a woman who never met before, find themselves on upper and lower berth of a long distance train.

At 2 am, man leans over saying, "Ma'am, sorry to bother you, would you be kind enough to give me a second blanket from the side table. It's awfully cold here.

"I have a better idea", she replied, "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we are married?"

"Great idea Ma'am", he replied in great excitement.

She says, "Well then get up and take it yourself"

A Texan dies and goes to Hell. Like with all new arrivals, Satan enjoys messing with the Texan. First, Satan turns the thermostat to 100 degrees with 80% humidity. Satan goes to check on the Texan only to become angry when he sees the Texan reclining in a lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "This is great! Just like Texas in June!" Satan decides he will turn the thermostat up to 110 degrees and 90% humidity. Satan, then, returns to his new Texas arrival only to see him still in his lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "This is even better! Just like Texas in July!" Satan is becoming more angry so he decides he will move the thermostat to 120 degrees and 100% humidity. Once again, Satan returns to his new arrival only to see the Texan still in his lawn chair, sipping iced tea saying, "Oh wow! Just like Texas in August!"

By this time, Satan is really mad. He decides he's going to do a complete turnaround on the temperature in Hell. Satan turns the thermostat to well below freezing. Satan returns to the Texan. Satan is completely shocked by the Texan's reaction: The Texan is whooping and hollering, "Whoo Hoo!!! The Rangers just won the World Series!!!!"

Buddha walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

I tripped on my wife's bra in the bedroom, turns out it was a booby trap.