misc jokes

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a car?

A. Jack!

Three Irishmen, Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.

"Come have a look over here," says Paddy, "It's Michael O'Grady's grave, and God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87."

"That's nothing," says Sean, "here's one named Patrick O'Tool, it says here that he was 95 when he died." Just then, Seamus yells out, "Hey, here's a fella that got to be 145!"
"What was his name?" asks Paddy. Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker, and exclaims, "Miles, from Dublin."

Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs under a car?
A. Jack!

Tony was a pianist and was practicing late one night. There was a tap on the door, when he opened it his landlord was standing outside the door.

The landlord asked, “Do you know there is a sick lady upstairs?"

Tony answered, “No, I haven’t heard that song. Can you please hum it a little?"