misc jokes

Charlie borrowed his friends Volkswagen, while his car was in the garage.
When he got into it, he found out it would not start.
So he got out and raised the hood and looked down in amazement.
This other guy came by driving in his Volkswagen and saw that this guys was in trouble, so he stopped and went over. "What’s the trouble?" he asked. After taking a look, he said; "No wonder it won't start someone stole the engine." "But don’t worry" he said, “I have an extra in my trunk you can borrow".

Did you hear about the baby born in the high-tech delivery room?

It was cordless!

The HMO account manager noticed that nearly every bill from a certain pediatrician’s office included the line item “Behavior modification re-enforcers”.

Alarm that the pediatrician was engaging in some unapproved, experimental psychological treatment, she called the physician’s office to inquire,

“What on earth are behavior modification re-enforcers?”

“Lollipops,” was the reply.

An optometrist was instructing a new employee on how to charge a customer. “As you are fitting her glasses, if she asks how much they cost, you say ‘$150.’ “If her eyes don’t flutter, say, ‘For the frames. The lenses will be $100.’ “If her eyes still don’t flutter, you add, ‘Each.’”