misc jokes

Two drunks were staggering home along a railway line. “This is the longest staircase I’ve ever climbed, moaned one.
“It certainly is,” slurred his body. “And the banister’s so low; my back’s killing me.”

I know it's just a diet, but my body thinks it's famine.

I had plastic surgery last week. My wife cut up my credit cards

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer