misc jokes

Edward Hale, while chaplain of the U.S. Senate, was asked, "Do you pray for the senators?"
He quickly replied, "No. After getting to know the senators, I pray for the people."

A man found a brass lamp, rubbed it vigorously, and a genie appeared. "For freeing me from the lamp, I will grant you any wish you desire," the genie said.

The man replied, "I want a spectacular job. A challenge that no man has ever succeeded at or has ever even dared try."

"Poof!" said the genie. "You're a housewife."

I See Said The Blind Man
I Hear Said The Deaf Man
And The Man With No Legs Kicked Them Both

At an entrance:
Woman: Did you open the door for me because I am a lady?
Man: No, I did because I am a gentleman.