misc jokes

If a flea and a fly pass each other, what time is it?
Fly past flea.

A man whose son had just passed his driving test went home one evening and found that the boy had driven slap into the living room.
“How on earth did you manage to do that?” he fumed.
“Quite simple, Dad. I came in through the kitchen and turned left!”

“So”, thundered Larry’s furious father, “you’ve been expelled from college, have you?
“Yes, Dad. I am a fugitive from a brain gang.”

John and Tony were in the bar, pondering over Tony’s problems. “Andrea and I want to get married,” said Tony, “but we can’t find anywhere to live.”
“Why don’t you live with Andrea’s parents?” suggested John.
“We can’t do that,” said Tony, “they’re living with their parents!”