misc jokes

One day, Murphy and O'Brien went deer hunting in the woods. They sit in the woods for hours, when suddenly this humongous buck comes into view. With a nice clean shot, O'Brien bangs the buck. They drag it back to camp by the butt, but the antlers keep getting stuck. Another hunter says, "You guys should drag it by the antlers. It won't get stuck." They do, and Murphy yells, "Hey, he was right. He is not getting stuck." O'Brien replies, "Yeah, but we're getting farther away from camp."

A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town’s register.

His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, " I must have taken Leif off my census."

Q: What does an agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac do?
A: Stay up all night and wonder if there's a DOG.

“Why did you refuse to marry Bob, Lisa?”
“Cause he said he’d die if I didn’t and I’m just curious…..”