misc jokes

A man rings up a Chinese and says, "do you deliver"?
The man on the end of the phone says "no we do pork and chicken"!

At a bar, one patron to another: “Excuse me but I think you owe me a drink.”
Why?
“You’re so ugly that I dropped mine when I saw you”

One day, Murphy and O'Brien went deer hunting in the woods. They sit in the woods for hours, when suddenly this humongous buck comes into view. With a nice clean shot, O'Brien bangs the buck. They drag it back to camp by the butt, but the antlers keep getting stuck. Another hunter says, "You guys should drag it by the antlers. It won't get stuck." They do, and Murphy yells, "Hey, he was right. He is not getting stuck." O'Brien replies, "Yeah, but we're getting farther away from camp."

Q: Why was Adam the happiest man ever lived?

A: Because he was the only man without a mother-in-law.