misc jokes

A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...
Who is driving the car?
A police officer!

A man in Ireland is driving his Morris Miner to the ferry port to go home in England. Suddenly, his car breaks down. A bloke in a Ferrari pulls up and says he has a towrope in his boot, but he warns that he is a fast driver. So if he goes too fast, just flash your lights and beep your horn. They set off and suddenly the Ferrari driver spots a Porsche. He thinks “this is no good, I must overtake that Porsche.” So he speeds up, the driver of the Porsche speeds up, until they are speeding like a man-on-fire!
The driver of the Morris miner starts flashing its lights and beeping its horn.
Meanwhile, Paddy, Mick and Ferges are standing on their driveway. Suddenly, ZOOM! Goes the Porsche. ZOOM! Goes the Ferrari. ZOOM! Goes the Morris Miner.
Paddy says 'did you see that Porsche, it was going' at least a 100 miles an hour!'
Mick replies 'yep, that was okay, but did you see that Ferrari, that was 110 miles an hour'
Ferges thinks, then says 'they were both quite speedy, but did you see, did you see that Morris Miner, it was indicating and beeping it's horn to overtake the both of them!'

A man sees a beautiful woman.
Approaching her, and in his coolest Barry White tone says: " If good looks where a minute, you would be an hour"
The woman looks deep into the man's eyes and in her sexiest voice replies: "If good looks were within your reach, you wouldn’t have any arms."

A rapist, a gangster and a murderer are in the same car...
Who is driving the car?
A police officer!