misc jokes

Q: How do you catch a sqirrel?

A: Climb up a tree and act like a nut.

A woman was walking in a graveyard when she saw a man kneeling by a grave shouting "WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DIE???" Feeling sorry for the man she put her hand on his arm and said "Is that your wife your grieving for?" To which the man replied, "No it’s my wife's ex husband"

- Daddy, daddy... Why is it that everyone calls me stupid?
- I don't know kid; I am not your daddy.

Q: What do you call a woman who marries an old, ugly and poor man?
A: Stupid!
Q: What do you call a man who marries an old, ugly and poor woman?
A: Desperate!