relationship jokes

Boyfriend: I will never lie to you, dear.

Girlfriend: How sweet!

Boyfriend: Now you tell me a lie.

I thought my new girlfriend might be the one...

But when I went through her drawers and found a nurse's uniform, a French maid's outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I changed my mind.

I figure if she can't hold on to a job, she's not the one for me.

A man and a woman are having a date.

The woman remarks, “You know, you look totally like my third husband!”

The man is startled and asks, “Really, how many times have you been married?”

“Twice.”