What do you call those who fully listen to both sides of an argument?
Neighbors.
When your girlfriend comes home in a white suit, covered in bee stings and smelling like honey...
You know she's a keeper!
Girlfriend: "Am I pretty or ugly?"
Boyfriend: "You're both."
Girlfriend: "What do you mean?"
Boyfriend: "You're pretty ugly."
History and statistics show that lightning strikes men five times more often than women...
But I think they got the wrong count for how many times women strike men.