relationship jokes

Whenever my wife uses the phrase, "I was thinking... "

That means I either have to move, build, paint, or buy something."

You know you've still got it when you're walking across the beach with your wife and there's a couple of young girls waving at you while she isn't looking.

There's no way that I was ever gonna swim out that far to save them though.

I once dated a geologist, but the relationship was just too rocky.

I was crushed.