A minister who was very fond of pure, hot horseradish always kept a bottle of it on his dining room table. Once, at dinner, he offered some to a guest, who took a big spoonful.
The guest let out a huge gasp. When he was finally able to speak, he choked out, "I've heard many ministers preach hellfire, but you are the first one I've met who passes out a sample of it."
The morning before Christmas Adam arose and said, "It's Christmas, Eve."
As Noah was building the ark, what type of lights did he use?
FLOOD LIGHTS!
The priest said to the poor farmer, "If you had a horse, would you give it to the Lord?"
"Yes."
"And if you had a cow?"
"Absolutely."
"And a goat?"
"Sure."
"A pig?"
"Now, that's not fair!" protested the farmer. "You know I have a pig!"