religious jokes
Favorite this joke A farmhand went to church one Sunday, but when he entered he saw that he and the preacher were the only ones present. The preacher asked the farmhand if he wanted to go ahead and preach.
”Well,” said the farmhand, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I’d still feed him.”
So the minister began his sermon. An hour passed, then two hours, then two and a half hours. Finally the preacher finished and asked the farmhand whether he had enjoyed the sermon.
“Well,” said the farmhand, “I’m not too smart, but if I went to feed my cattle and only one showed up, I sure wouldn’t feed him all the hay.”
Because of a shortage of maids, the minister's wife advertised for a manservant. The next morning a nicely dressed young man came to the front door. "Can you start the breakfast by seven o'clock?" asked the minister.
"I guess so," answered the man.
"Can you polish all the silver, wash all the dishes, do the laundry, take care of the lawn, wash windows, iron clothes and keep the house neat and tidy?"
"Say, preacher," said the young fellow rather meekly, "I came here to see about getting married but if it's going to be as much work as all that, you can count me out right now."
As the pastor gave his pretty lengthy sermon, he noticed one of his parishioners dozing off.
After church and as they were leaving, the pastor jokingly asked the dozer if he got a good rest during his sermon.
The parishioner quickly responded, “Not really, someone kept talking all the way through it.”
A terminally ill man woke up in a hospital bed and called for his doctor. ”Give it to me straight, doc, ” he said. ”How long have I got?”
The physician replied that he doubted whether the man would survive the night.
So the man said, ”Fetch me my lawyer.”
When the lawyer arrived, the man asked the physician to stand on one side of the bed while the lawyer stood on the other. The man then closed his eyes. After a few minutes, the physician asked him what he was thinking about.
The man replied, ”Jesus died with a thief on either side. I thought I check out the same way.”
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