religious jokes
Favorite this joke A retiring pastor was saying farewell to his congregation at the church doors for the last time. He shook the hand of an elderly lady as she walked out. She said, "Your successor won't be as good as you."
"Nonsense," said the pastor, in a flattered tone.
"No, really," said the old lady, "I've been here under five different ministers, and each one has been worse than the last."
I had been in heaven as an Apprentice Angel for about three months and was enjoying my stay. The day came when I was called to visit God.
GOD: "You are about to get your wings."
ME: "Lemon pepper or barbeque?"
GOD: "Get out... just go..."
About a year after her husband died, the widow Smith herself died. When she arrived at the pearly gates she ask if she could see her former husband.
"What's his name? "
"Joe Smith."
"You'll have to give us better identification than that. Maybe his last words? We classify each arrival that way."
"Well, just before he died he said to me, 'Katie, if you ever waste any of my hard earned dollars, I'll turn over in my grave.'"
"Oh, sure we know him. We call him Whirling Joe up here."
The pastor who had accepted an invitation to officiate at the Sunday service in a neighboring towns church. He entrusted the Sunday service at his church to the new appointed curate. Upon his return he ask his wife what she thought of the curate's sermon.
"It was the poorest one I ever heard," was her prompt reply, "nothing in it at all."
Later in the day he saw the curate and ask how he had got along.
"Oh, very well. I didn't have time to prepare my own sermon so I used one of your unused ones."
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