religious jokes
Favorite this joke A minister decided to do something a little different one Sunday morning.
He said "Today, in church, I am going to say a single word and you are going to help me preach. Whatever single word I say, I want you to sing whatever hymn that comes to your mind."
The pastor shouted out "CROSS." Immediately the congregation started singing in unison, "THE OLD RUGGED CROSS."
The pastor hollered out "GRACE."
The congregation began to sing "AMAZING GRACE, how sweet the sound."
The pastor said "POWER." The congregation sang "THERE IS POWER IN THE BLOOD."
The Pastor said "SEX". The congregation fell into total silence. Everyone was in shock. They all nervously began to look around at each other, afraid to say anything.
Then all of a sudden, way from in the back of the church, a little old 87-year-old grandmother stood up and began to sing "PRECIOUS MEMORIES".
A man walked into a gift shop that sold religious items. Near the cash register he saw a display of caps with "WWJD" printed on all of them. He was puzzled over what the letters could mean. He asked the clerk.
The clerk replied that the letters stood for "What Would Jesus Do", and was meant to inspire people to not make rash decisions, but rather to imagine what Jesus would do in the same situation.
The man thought a moment and then replied, "Well, I'm sure Jesus wouldn't pay $17.95 for one of these caps."
Four members of the clergy had a theological argument, with the three males ministers siding against the female minister. The woman prayed, "Lord, I know I'm right. Please send us a divine sign to prove it."
A big storm cloud materialized and there was a clap of thunder. "See," said the woman. "It's a sign from above." The three clergymen disagreed, saying thunder is a common phenomenon.
"Dear Lord," the woman prayed, "I need a bigger sign." This time, a bolt of lightning slammed into a tree. "See! I told you I was right," the woman said. But the men insisted nothing had happened that couldn't be explained by natural causes.
"Help me, Lord," the woman implored. And a deep voice came from the heavens: "SSSHHHEEE'S RRRIIIGGGHHHTTT!"
The woman turned to the three clergymen and asked, "Well?"
"Okay, okay," they said. "Now it's three against two."
The clergyman of a large church, having just arrived in Fort Smith, was being shaved by a local barber that was addicted to occasional drinking sprees. There was an unmistakable odor of whisky around the barber's face and the razor suddenly nicked the man's face.
"You see, that comes from taking too much drink," said the clergyman.
"You're right," said the barber. "Drinking does make the skin tender, that's a fact."
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