Best Jokes

I just love it when you are at a play or movie theater and they make the announcement, "Please silence your cell phones..."

Why do they have to announce that?

I mean how many people are carrying around a landline phone?

Minnie: Do you know what one burp said to the other burp?

Sally: No. What?

Minnie: Let's be little stinkers and go out the back way.

John: "Do you know why the Bride and many other women cry at weddings?"

Fred: "No, why?"

John: "It's because the Bride isn't marrying the best man."

A man hired a lawyer when he got sued by his company for the embezzlement of many millions. At the beginning of the process, the lawyer kindly reassured him, "Don’t worry, you’ll never go to jail with that amount of money.“

And the lawyer was right. When the man did go to jail eventually, he didn’t have a penny anymore.