My family wants me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes...
But I can't quit cold turkey!
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same... while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
Sign at animal park:
Please be safe. Do not sit, stand, climb, or lean on fence.
If you fall, animals may eat you and that might make them sick.
An old man went to his doctor complaining of aches and pains all over his body. After a thorough examination, the doctor gave him a clean bill of health.
“You’re in excellent shape for a 75-year-old man,” he said. “But I’m afraid I can’t make you any younger.”
“Who asked you to make me younger?” the man replied. “You just make sure I keep getting older!”