Best Jokes

My kindergarten-aged daughter suddenly announced just before school that she needed to take a clean tee shirt to class. She told us the teacher was going to iron an anti-drug message on it.

My wife frantically swept through my daughter's room, finding nothing usable but one tee shirt that already had something printed on one side. She sent it off to school with my daughter.

That afternoon, my daughter returned and happily showed off her shirt.

On one side it said, "Families are Forever."

And on the other, "Be Smart, Don't Start."

My wife drew a stick figure of her and I on my breakfast napkin.

She then wrote "I love you" on it.

Guys, whatever you do, if you receive a sweet sentiment like this don't tape it to the fridge!

Husband: "Happy Anniversary, Honey! I got you a DVD player."

Wife: "Oh, thank you, dear, but how were you able to afford it?"

Husband: "I sold our TV."

Rick, fresh out of accounting school, went to a interview for a good paying job. The company boss asked various questions about him and his education, but then asked him, "What is three times seven?"

"22," Rick replied. After he left, he double-checked it on his calculator and realized he wouldn't get the job.

About two weeks later, he got a letter that said he was hired for the job. He was not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, but was still very curious. The next day, he went in and asked why he got the job, even though he got such a simple question wrong.

The boss shrugged and said, "Well, you were the closest."