Best Jokes

A professor of clinical psychology at Victoria University in Wellington, New Zealand, included a lecture on crowd psychology in his annual course. To illustrate mass hysteria, he regularly showed TV news footage of teenage crowds greeting the Beatles at the local airport in the 1960's.

One year, when he ran the footage, he heard squeals and bursts of laughter from his students. When the film ended he asked what had caused the hilarity.

Replied one student, "We recognized some of our mothers!"

Prior to turning on the TV to watch a recorded soccer match, I said to my wife, “Don’t tell me the score!”

She replied, “ Don't worry, there wasn’t any.”

Son: After I graduate college I want become a sales person because there must be hundreds of different types, which gives me options.

Dad: There may be many different types of products but there are only three types of sales people...

The first type will take your commissions and doesn't care if you know...

The second type will take your commissions if they don't think you'll figure it out...

The third type are people that don't know what they're doing. In the end they'll take your commissions accidentally.

Son: That must mean there's a fourth type, someone who is actually a #1 but pretends to be a #3 so you won't get mad at them.

Dad: Actually son, now you're getting into sales management.

Scientist have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny, although measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from earth's surface.

This would explain the death of the dinosaurs... the tallest ones, anyway.