Best Jokes

There once was a Russian guy named Olaf who was mean, rude, and crude. One day his wife and her friend were in the kitchen discussing Christmas. Suddenly Olaf shouted, "It's gonna rain any moment now!"

Next thing you know it starts raining. The wife's friend is shocked. She said, "How in the world did he know that?"

Without missing a beat the wife said to her, "Rude Olaf the Red knows rain dear."

Four old Catholic women sit and brag about their sons. The first Catholic woman tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him 'Father'."

The second Catholic woman chirps, "My son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people call him 'Your Grace'."

The third Catholic mother says, "My son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, he's called 'Your Eminence'."

The fourth Catholic woman says, "My incredibly handsome son is 6' 2 with broad, square shoulders, good manners and impeccable style. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, 'Oh my God'."

Teacher: If there are seven flies and I hit one with a ruler, how many are left?

Little Johnny: Just the squashed one.

Some people have a hard time understanding how Noah could fit all those animals inside the ark...

But what amazes me is that Noah built the ark without a single power tool.