Whats the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman?
You can unscrew a lightbulb!
A Son who was schooling far away from home once sent a sms to his father. “Father, the situation here is critical. Please, send me some money, suicide contemplated”.
The Father replied, Son, the situation at home is more critical. Suicide approved.
Why are ET's eyes so BIG?
He saw his phone bill.
"Make me one with everything," says the Buddhist to the tofu hot dog vendor.
Then, after getting his tofu hot dog, the Buddhist hands the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor takes the money and begins helping the next customer.
The Buddhist looks puzzled and asks the vendor, "Where is my change?"
The vendor replies, "Change comes from within."