Best Jokes

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password: "MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento".

When asked why she had such a long password, the employee rolled her eyes and said, "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital."

One who runs in front of the car gets tired. One who runs behind gets exhausted.

Sally was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 5-year-old daughter to answer the phone.

“Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at them suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. "What’ll be, boys?"

The first vampire says, "Blood. Give me blood."

The second vampire says, "I too wish for blood!"

The third vampire says, "Give me plasma."

The Bartender smiles and says, "Got it. Two bloods and one blood-light."