Best Jokes

A Native American gentleman was at the local home improvement store purchasing a few bags of gardening soil. As he waited in line to pay for his bags of dirt, a guy behind him spoke to him. "You gonna do some planting?"

The Native American man turned to him and, with a very serious face, said, "No, I am buying my land back one bag at a time and I am getting a receipt this time."

The shocked look on the guy's face was priceless.

The beginner's guide to decoding work emails...

I have a question = I have 18 questions

I’ll look into it = I’ve already forgotten about it

I tried my best = I did the bare minimum

Happy to discuss further = Don’t ask me about this again

No worries = You really messed up this time

Take care = This is the last you’ll ever hear from me

Cheers = I have no respect for you or myself

A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him, "Hey, come over here buddy!" The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks, "Were you talking to me?"

The horse replies, "Sure was, man I've got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and I'm sick of it. Why don't you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me. I'll make you some money cause I can still run."

The jogger thought to himself,"Boy, a talking horse!" Dollar signs started appearing in his head. So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting on the porch. The jogger tells the farmer, "Hey man, I'll give you $5,000 for that old broken down nag you've got in the field."

The farmer replies, "Son, you can't believe anything that horse says. He's never even been to Kentucky."

Where did Noah keep his bees?

In the ark hives.