Best Jokes
Favorite this joke Carlos told his wife he wanted a guitar to play while sitting in the Jacuzzi.
The next day she bought him an electric guitar.
A kid called up his mom from his college and asked her for some money, because he ran out of it. His mom said, "Sure, sweetie. I'll will send you some money. You also left your calculus book here when you visited 2 weeks ago. Do you want me to send that up too?"
"Uhh, oh yeah, okay," responded the kid. So his mom wrapped the book along with the checks up in a package and went to the post office to mail the money and the book.
When she gets back, her husband asked, "Well how much did you give the boy this time?"
She said, "Oh, I wrote two checks, one for $20 and the other for $1000 out to him."
"That's $1020!" yelled her husband. "Are you crazy?"
"Don't worry, Hon," she said. "I taped the $20 check to the cover of his book, but I put the $1000 one somewhere between the pages in chapter 19!"
A man was walking home alone one night when he heard a "BUMP....BUMP....BUMP..." behind him. Walking faster, he looked back, making out an image of an upright coffin banging its way down the middle of the street towards him...."BUMP...BUMP...BUMP..."
The man began to run toward his home, and the coffin bounced after him faster....faster...BUMP BUMP BUMP!
He ran up to his door, fumbled with his keys, opened the door, rushed in, and locked it behind him. The coffin crashed through his door, with the lid of the coffin clapping BUMP...BUMP...BUMP... on the heels of the terrified man. The man rushed upstairs to the bathroom and locked himself in, heart pounding.
With a CRASH, the coffin broke down the door, coming slowly toward him. The man while screaming, reached for something, anything... all he can find was a box of cough drops which he hurled at the coffin.
Suddenly, the coffin stopped.
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