Best Jokes

The majority of people in the world understand that in order to become a highly successful, professional athlete or Olympian, one must endure grueling hours of training, strict discipline, physical pain, profuse sweating, and very often severe cases of Athlete's Foot.

This in turn leads me to say, that the familiar, old adage needs to be changed to... "The Thrill Of Victory And The Smell Of De-feet!"

Older people say, "Age is just a number."

That's not true. Age is just a word.

A very good friend of mine is a single mother of four young beautiful daughters. Over the past couple of months, each one of her children have asked what it's like to be a mommy. She kept telling them when the time is right, she would explain it in such a way that all of them could understand.

So one early morning, at about 3am, she decided to wake all of them up and gather them in her bedroom while they were still half asleep for a little chat. "Remember how all of you asked what it's like to be a mommy?" she says.

"Yes mommy," says the oldest one, "but it's sooo early."

"That's right sweetie," says the mother, "but I can't find my teddy bear, I have an itch on my back that I can't scratch, and where's Fluffy? Plus I'm thirsty and I want a glass of water, my socks keep falling off my feet and I'm sooo cold. Could you please get me another blanket and tuck me in and tell me another story?"

After a brief pause, she adds, "Okay then...do all of you understand now?"

Why did the EMT's travel in sets of two?

They wanted to be a pair-of-medics.