Best Jokes

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: ''Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!'' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: ''The driver just insulted me!'' The man says: ''You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.''

A Nigerian Pastor and his driver died in a car crash and went to heaven. Both of them were welcomed. The angel on duty showed the driver a 3-storey duplex of pure gold and said "this is your mansion". He showed the pastor a small wooden shed and said "this is your dwelling place!"

The pastor was confused. "I don't understand", he said. "Why should my driver get a golden duplex while all I get this wooden shed for eternity? I have been a faithful preacher for several years."

The angel replied, "when you preached, people slept. But whenever your driver drove, people cried to God!"

It doesn't matter what color the cup is, just DO NOT give it to the "two girls"

Toward the end of a particularly trying round of golf, Jack was the picture of frustration. He’d hit too many far shots. Finally he blurted out to his caddie, “I’d move heaven and earth to break a hundred on this course.” “Try heaven,” replied the caddie. “You’ve already moved most of the earth.”