Best Jokes

An American businesswoman had to visit UK for about 3 months on business. She asked her husband what she should bring for the husband. "Bring me an English girl" said the husband naughtily. "OK" said the wife.

After 3 months the husband went to the airport to pick up his wife. "Where is my English girl?" he asked.

"Well, dear, I did every possible thing I could do to get a girl for you. She would be there in about 7 months' time, but don't you blame me if it turns out to be a baby boy!" answered the wife.

Guy (to a fly lady): Did you crawl out of a B-17 cause you're the bomb.

Any system that depends on reliability is unreliable.

A young gentleman in a jewelry store looking at engagement rings. The sales clerk walks over and asks, "May I give you a hand with something?"

He replied, "No thanks, I already have her hand... now I just need THE SOMETHING!"