What did the apple tree say to the hungry caterpillar?
Leaf me alone.
For over 40 years, my grandfather put in long hours at his job, so I was more than a little curious about the way he filled his days since his retirement. "How has life changed?"
A man of few words, he replied, "Well I get up in the morning with nothing to do, and I go to bed at night with it half done."
Billy and Pa' were walking in the woods when they came across a sign saying, "Tree Fellers wanted."
One of them said, "Ye know, it's a shame Paddy isn't here. We could have gotten the job."
Our 15-year-old daughter, Melanie, had to write a report for school about World War II, specifically D-Day and the invasion of Normandy.
"Isn't there a movie about that?" she asked.
I told her there was, but I couldn't think of the name.
Then it came to her, "Oh, I remember! Isn't it something like 'Finding Private Nemo'?"