Best Jokes

Windows: Please enter your new password.

User: potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters long.

User: baked potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must contain at least one numerical character.

User: 3 baked potatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot have any blank spaces.

User: 75bigdumbstinkinbakedpotatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case letter.

User: 75bigDUMBstinkinbakedpotatoes

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case letter consecutively

User: 75BigDumbStinkinBakedPotatoesSmashedInYourFaceIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNow!

Windows: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

User: 75BigDumbStinkinBakedPotatoesSmashedInYourFaceIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightNowAndRightThisVeryMinute

Windows: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Not long ago I met the waitress of my dreams.

About halfway through dinner I called the waitress over and said, "Ma'am, this potato is bad."

She nodded, picked up the potato and smacked it. Then she put it back on my plate and said, "Sir, if that potato causes any more trouble, you just let me know."

I get my cereal from a tiger, insurance from a gecko, toilet paper from a bear, financial advice from a gorilla.

It's people I don't trust.

Murphy told Quinn that his wife is driving him to drink.

Quinn thinks he’s very lucky because his own wife makes him walk.