"Mom says that drinking a buffalo's milk makes us smarter."
"She's lying. If it did make one smarter, then the buffalo's calves would be scientists."
What does a dalmatian say when scratching an itch?
"Ah, that's the spot!"
Tom tried to calm himself down in the middle of a severe argument with his wife Jany. He said to her, “Let us not fight any more. We should try to sort this out in a level-headed manner.”
Fuming with anger, Jany replied, “No. Whenever we try to sort things out in a level-headed manner, I lose!”
Little Johnny's mother was in the hospital, and he was visiting to see his new brother. He wandered into an adjoining room which was occupied by a woman with a broken leg.
"Hello," he said. "How long you been here?"
"Oh, about two weeks."
"May I see your baby," he then ask.
"Why I haven't got a baby," the woman replied.
"Gee, you are slow. My mama's been here just two days and she's got one."