Best Jokes

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at it because it was prettier than most. The clerk said, "It's made in Germany."

I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then."

The clerk said, "What's the matter? You don't like German pens?"

I said, "No, that's not it. I just never learned to write German."

Man: ”They’ll be changing the metric system soon!”

Boy: ”Uh, what’s that?”

Man: ”They’ll be changing feet to meters!

Boy: ”You mean, we'll be playing meterball?”

What did the bunny give his girlfriend when he asked her to marry him?

A 13-carrot ring!

Sardar was given the job of painting the white lines down the middle of a highway.

On his first day he painted six miles; the next day three miles; the following day less than a mile.

Then the foreman asked Sardar why he kept painting less each day?

He replied, “I just can’t do any better. Each day I keep getting farther away from the paint can.”