Best Jokes

I just can't stand people who look down on people who look down on people.

When my wife and I went out for dinner I thought I'd have a little fun. I said to her, "Did you see that waitress? She looked at me and smiled."

Without batting an eye my wife responded, "So what, the first time I saw you I laughed right out loud. It means nothing."

There is an old Hotel/Pub in Marble Arch, London, which used to have a gallows adjacent to it. Prisoners were taken to the gallows (after a fair trial of course) to be hung.

The horse-drawn dray, carting the prisoner, was accompanied by an armed guard, who would stop the dray outside the pub and ask the prisoner if he would like ''ONE LAST DRINK''.

If he said YES, it was referred to as ONE FOR THE ROAD.

If he declined, that prisoner was ON THE WAGON.

So there you go.