Best Jokes

I went into a flower shop the other day and ordered a dozen roses. While paying for them the woman clerk asked, "Anniversary?"

I replied, "No."

"Birthday?"

Again, I replied, "No."

Having paid, I was walking to the door when she called after me saying, "I hope she forgives you!"

I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering...

Not long ago, an elderly, slim and trim lady was admitted to the hospital. After she finished giving a nurse her information, she asked the nurse if she could help her to the bathroom.

Above the commode, she noticed a note. It read, 'Toilet weight 300 pounds'.

She turned to the nurse and asked, "Why would I want to lift a toilet?"

The one nice thing about narcissists is that they don’t talk about other people!