Best Jokes

Women have many faults, men only have two... everything they say and everything they do.

After an MCAT exam, a father asks his son, "How did it go son?"

Young man, looking rather reproachful, replied, "It went well dad. In fact, it went so well that I will retake it again next year."

A priest asked a group of fourth graders in a religious class, "How many of you would like to go to heaven?"

All raised their hands except Johnny. The priest asked Johnny why he didn't want to go to heaven.

Johnny said, "I do, but I thought you wanted to go right now."

A man woke up in the morning deeply repentant  after a bitter fight with his wife the previous night. He noticed with dismay the crate of beer bottles that had caused the fight. He took it outside and started smashing  the empty bottles one by one against a wall.

He smashed the first bottle swearing, "You are the reason I fight with  my wife!"
He smashed the second bottle, "You are the reason I don't love my children!"
He smashed the third bottle, "You are the reason I don't have a decent job!"
When he took the fourth bottle, he realized that the bottle was still sealed and was full. He hesitated for only a moment and then said, "You stand aside, I know you were not involved."

Men will be men.