Best Jokes

What did the planet get in karate?

An asteroid belt!

A fly was sitting on a completely bald person's head.

Second fly lands there and comments, "Nice, clean home."

First fly says, "This is not a home, it's just the plot."

Wife: If I knew you were this poor, I wouldn't have married you!

Husband: What do you think I meant when I said you were the only thing I have in this world?

What is the difference between a good beer and a woman:

1. A good beer never goes flat.

2. A good beer never commits when between your legs.

3. A good beer never complains when you’ve had better.

4. A good beer doesn’t try to kill you when you tell it its too big.

5. You never have to impress a good beer, it loves you no matter what.