Best Jokes

The trouble with talking too fast...

Is that you might say something you haven't thought of yet!

Husband: "Did you ever wonder why cats are so finicky?"

Wife: "You'd be finicky too if you had to bath yourself with your tongue."

Sign on a door:

"Push. If that doesn't work, Pull. If that doesn’t work, we’re closed."

A little girl is in the kitchen watching her mother prepare for the following day's Christmas dinner.

She asks, "Mommy, can I please have a cat for Christmas?"

Her mommy replies, "No honey, you'll have turkey just like the rest of us."