Best Jokes

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants!

In a Catholic school cafeteria, a nun places a note in front of a pile of apples, "Only take one. God is watching."

Further down the line is a pile of cookies.

A little boy makes his own note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

A hospital posted a notice in the nurses' mess saying:

"Remember, the first five minutes of a human being's life are the most dangerous."

Underneath, a nurse had written:

"The last five are pretty risky, too."