Best Jokes

The water went away and Noah threw open the doors and told the animals to go forth and multiply. As the animals left, two snakes stopped by Noah and said, "We can't do that."

"Do what?" said Noah.

"Multiply," said the snakes.

"Why not?" asked Noah.

"Because we're Adders," said the snakes.

I tried being a tailor, but wasn't suited for it...

Mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

Bob: "I took a big fall, fell off a 50 ft ladder."

Jim: "Oh wow, are you okay?"

Bob: "Yeah, it's a good thing I only fell off the first step."

In fourth grade, my son had a huge crush on a classmate. So for Valentine’s Day, he bought her a box of chocolates and took it to school. When I returned home from work, I found him on the couch eating the same box of candy.

"What happened?" I asked.

"Well, I thought about it for a long time," he said between chews. "And I decided that, for now, I still like candy more than girls."