Best Jokes

Kids today don't know how easy they have it. When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV to one of nine channels.

Jill's car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls...

John: "What happened this time?"

Jill: "My brakes went out. Can you come get me?"

John: "Where are you?"

Jill: "I'm in the drugstore."

John: "And where's the car?"

Jill: "It's in here with me."

One fisherman to another, "You should've seen what happened yesterday at the lake."

"What happened?"

"I caught a twenty-three pound salmon!"

"Were there any witnesses?"

"Yes, of course! If there wasn't, it would've been thirty-three pounds."

Some vacationers at their campsite were cooking fish over an open fire when a storm suddenly moved in.

Before the campers could run for cover, a burst of lightning came down and struck a skillet that was resting on the coals in front of them.

That's what you call a flash in the pan!