Best Jokes

Husband: Honey, it looks like I'm not going to make it so I want to get something off my chest.

Wife: What is it dear?

Husband: I've been having an affair with your best friend, Julia, for the past year.

Wife: Oh yes. I know all about it.

Husband: You do!

Wife: Yes dear, Why do you think I poisoned you.

Sometimes computers lag so much, it hertz!

One night I woke myself up with a loud "Hello!" to someone in my dream. As the next day came and went, I thought the nocturnal outburst was mine alone to remember.

But that night, as my wife and I were getting ready for bed, she said dryly, "If you see anyone you know tonight, just wave."

Talk is cheap . . .

Until you hire a lawyer.