Best Jokes

I was having dinner with a chess player that had just received notification that she has received the prestigious chess designation of "Master".

Due to the checkered tablecloth, It took her two hours to pass me the ketchup.

My buddy got arrested on drug charges and because it was his first offense, he thought he would get off lightly, but it turned out his lawyer was one of the worst in the state and ended up botching his case, so instead of getting a short term, he ended up getting 30 years without parole!

Man, that was a long sentence!

Tonight’s Powerball jackpot is up...

Up to 1,783 dozen eggs!

"I've created a new computer that is almost human."

"You mean that it can think, feel and reason just like a human would?"

"No, but when it makes a mistake it blames it on another computer."