Best Jokes

A junior-high student was studying astronomy and enjoying it greatly.

One morning at breakfast she mentioned, "On Friday we're having a quiz on the moon."

Her little brother piped up, "Are you gonna let her go, Mom???"

While being transported to basic training, a new enlistee of the Air National Guard accidentally opened a parachute in the rear of the C-47.

The plane was piloted by a major and a captain, and the new enlistee felt intimidated as he opened the cockpit door to confess what he had done.

Expecting to be severely chastised, he was surprised by the captain's calm response. "Well, son," he said, "if this plane goes down, that chute is yours."

Somebody has said that there are only two kinds of people in the world...

There are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good morning, Lord!"...

And there are those who wake up in the morning and say, "Good Lord, it's morning!"

A Texan was taking a taxi tour of London and was in a hurry. As they went by the Tower of London the cab driver explained what it was and that construction of it started in 1346 and was completed in 1412.

The Texan replied, "Shoot, a little ol' tower like that? In Houston we'd have that thing up in two weeks!"

Next they passed the House of Parliament - started in 1544 and completed in 1618.

"Well boy, we put up a bigger one than that in Dallas and it only took a year!"

As they passed Westminster Abbey the cab driver was silent.

"Whoah! What's that over there?" asked the Texan.

The driver replied, "I don't know, it wasn't there yesterday."