How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. One to hold the giraffe, and one to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.
I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it???
It's a small world... but I wouldn't want to have to paint it.
I went to a restaurant that serves "breakfast at any time." So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.
I installed a skylight in my apartment... the people who live above me are furious.
The Seven stages of man...
Spills, Drills, Shrills, Bills, Ills, Pills, and Wills.
Signs are not always what they seem...
IN A LAUNDROMAT: Automatic washing machines. Please remove all your clothes when the light goes out.
IN A LONDON DEPARTMENT STORE: Bargain Basement Upstairs
IN AN OFFICE: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday please bring it back or further steps will be taken.
IN ANOTHER OFFICE: After the tea break, staff should empty the teapot and stand upside down on the draining board.
OUTSIDE A SECOND HAND SHOP: We exchange anything - bicycles, washing machines etc. Why not bring your wife along and get a wonderful bargain.