Best Jokes

One morning farmer Hank is trying to milk the cow but the cow kicks the bucket over, spilling milk everywhere. He sets the bucket back up and again the cow kicks the bucket. This happens 3 more times. After 5 unsuccessful attempts to milk the cow, the farmer comes up with a brilliant idea.

Tie the cow's leg to his leg, to prevent the cow from kicking over the bucket. The third time around the barn, farmer Hank knew this was a mistake.

A young boy asked his father if he knew the capitol of Delaware, his father didn’t know. The father, trying to save face quickly, changed the subject and told his son not to over feed his guinea pig. The ploy didn’t work.

The boy then asked his father another question he didn’t know the answer to. The father said, I may not know the capitol of Delaware but I do know what sis boom bah is. The son asked, "What’s that?"

The father replied, "It’s the sound you’ll hear if your guinea pig explodes."

It’s so hot today that I saw a Robin pick up a worm with an oven mitt.

This guy just sat around, snapping his fingers. Wherever he went, he kept snapping his fingers. People were beginning to get annoyed. Finally a man walked up to him and asked him why he kept snapping his fingers.

"To keep the elephants away," was the reply.

"Elephants? There aren't any elephants within 1,000 miles of here!"

"Then it must be working!"