Best Jokes

What is the difference between a politician and an actor?

An actor gets better scripts with more credible story-lines.

The only contest I ever won in my family was eating the most paint chips!

Dentists. Doesn't your mouth just hurt when you hear that word? Not only painful - but expensive.

"That'll be 5,000 dollars."

"What? Why?"

"The price of gold went up."

Little Johnny is riding in the car with his mom.

Little Johnny: Mommy, why is there a deer lying down on the side of the road?

Mommy: He's sleeping.

Little Johnny: Why on the side of the road?

Mommy: He likes the sound of the cars driving by, it's very soothing.